Thesis: Many of you ladies out there may not like to admit it, but have probably found yourself at one time or another asking the question, “What am I doing wrong” or possibly “Why doesn’t he like me”… If this is the case you have found yourself in, I ask you to have a look at this list and maybe we can be of some assistance. While all of these rules might not directly point at you, and there is no guarantee that this can help you snag that guy of your dreams, it at least can allow many guys out there to tolerate you just a little bit more.
We have compiled thoughts from many guys both near and far. With years of experience and lots of time being put into this list. While every guy does not agree with everything on this list, and every girl disagrees with everything on this list, this is simply to offer tips and suggestions about what that “confusing male” in your life is looking for.
Please enjoy reading this and for once try not to take it to heart. Do not make any comments until the very end if at all possible and if you have any questions just feel free to ask just about any guy you encounter and they should be of assistance.
Now get out there, get reading, and get better!
101 Things Girls Need To Know
2008 Revised and Improved
1. If you want a good guy, then be a good girl
2. Pig-Tails are still sexy
3. Do not cry over stupid stuff. Think about starving children and think if it's worth it
4.If we make a joke about you just take it and move on
5. Natural country/southern girls are Hot… do not try to make yourself into one though
6. Be Smart. Guys don’t dig ditzy for very long
7. Don’t Run.
8. Dumb and Dumber and Superbad are movies you need to appreciate
9. Don’t be stronger than me
10. Don’t talk about hot actors and other hot guys in front of us, you are only trying to make us jealous and/or are making us jealous
11. Don’t try to like, talk to us about, or play sports that you suck at
12. Meat is good, I hope you like eating steak, chicken, polish sausages, etc Although I will begin to worry if this is all you eat…
13. You do not have to sing along with every song in your car, let others enjoy it too
14. Most girls can dance but that does not mean you need to critique my dancing
15. When people say, “Just be Yourself” that does not always apply to you
16. Big Cars and Women do not mix
17. Make some money on your own, do not get a degree in being a wife
18. Women Drivers = No Survivors
19. Do not talk so loud so you hope that everyone can hear your sweet stories from the weekend
20. Take how cool you think you are and divide it by 4
21. Take how cool you think you are when you are drunk and divide it by 8
22. Learn to cook, and then take advantage of your newfound talent
23. Chewing/Smacking Gum all the time gets real annoying
24. Guys appreciate a good smile, but a maintained laugh
25. Your breath should smell like Crest Cinnamon Toothpaste
26. A small amount of girls look good in baseball hats, none of them look good in stylish short-billed hats
27. Shorter hair than me… do I need to continue
28. Give me space at sporting events I am watching or playing in
29. Cheerleading shorts make me happy, Cheerleading cheers make me sad
30. Don’t speak unless you are sure you know what you are talking about
31. The only important period is the one in this sentence.
32. Girls arguments usually prove to be worthless, so do not stay mad
33. Everyday is not casual day
34. You do not all have to wear skirts or dresses or leggings on the same day
35. Do not kill yourself at the tanning bed, get out there and mow the grass
36. Chipper or bitten nails can’t scratch my back
37. Keep those feet in ship shape span and looking clean
38. Buy Me Presents
39. Don’t be gullible; just don’t say what you are probably thinking
40. Make sure my parents think you are great
41. Capri Pants… hahaha
42. If you drink, try to be a lady
43. Don’t cry and complain about how ugly you think you are, its probably not that bad
44. Don’t be cocky if you are hot
45. You do not have to tell your friends you love them every time you say goodbye
46. Smart, Nice Body, Great Personality, Pretty Face is like finding a four-leaf clover, it just doesn’t happen
47. Try really hard… to not try so hard. Be easy going
48. Never use a guy for his money
49. Only girls think other girls are funny, sorry but guys never do
50. Be careful when wearing Camo. It can go either way
51. If you’re Hot, and your moms Hot, we will be at your house A LOT
52. Do not ever use Internet talk in regular conversation Ex: “You’re my BFF”
53. Don’t go to the pool if you don’t plan on actually swimming
54. Leave something to the imagination
55. Do not tell us how long you have had your rainbow sandals.
56. They are called Uggs because they are ugly… I understand they are comfortable but so are coon skin caps, and you don’t see me wearing one of those do you
57. Don’t talk so loud on your cell phone in public places
58. Carharts are made for guys only for a reason
59. What happens in your bathroom must stay in your bathroom
60. Never ever pad the grease off your pizza; you’re padding your coolness away
61. What we are wearing is never “cute”
62. You can tell us what to do, or how to do it, but never both
63. You can take your belly button piercing out now; it was hot though at SB ‘04
64. You need to get permission to call us by our nickname
65. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason
66. Girls spitting is just awkward
67. Burping is fine as long as you can back it up
68. You should not ask a guy how to be sexy; you are responsible for learning that
69.You look dumb when you hold your beer up in pictures so people will know your drinking (mostly underage girls)
70. The bigger the sunglasses, the more ridiculous you probably look
71. It’s annoying when girls have “beach weekends” or getaways and think it is a chance for them to be so “wild and crazy” and come home and laugh about for the next year
72. Your mix CD’s suck
73. Do not try to act gangster while listening to rap music with silly hand gestures driving around in your car
74. Your lower back tattoo is not a bull’s-eye it’s more like a sign of unoriginality
75. If your boyfriend is a loser and mean, suck it up and dump him and don’t give me that “we have a history” crap. I will help you get over him
76. Girls that have to pull every table in a restaurant together so we can make sure to sit as a whole group even though you only talk to the three people around you
77. Who are you kissing in the picture? Stop with the dang kiss face
78. Popped Collar on a guy is ridiculous, so just imagine how dumb it must look on a girl
79. Personalized License Plates are about as cool as Henna Tattoos… yea not cool
80. Don’t cheat on us. We have feelings too.
81.When girls wear non-collegiate sports gear they look trashy. A girl in a raiders jersey is screaming slut
82. For once please say that you like your haircut!
83.You are not cute when you try to act dumb and you really surprisingly know what you are talking about
84.Volleyball shorts is unfair dress attire around boys- -its like eye poison.
85. Paying 4 dollars or more for a coffee drink just so you can say you drink coffee or want to be seen with a Starbucks cup is money that could have bought you an entire combo meal or me a present.
86.Is the Hawaiian lei hanging from your rear view mirror some kind of club that I don’t know about? Well your club sucks.
87. Just because you played a sport in High School does not make you an athlete
88. A girl who smokes is about as cool as a guy who wear AXE
89.You’re not a movie star, so there is no reason to dye your hair so much
90. There is a reason that all the low-maintenance girls have boyfriends
91. Both hands in the air, and swaying head side to side is not an official dance. Stop! You look like an idiot.
92. Find that perfect balance between being able to form your own opinion and just being down right over opinionated.
93. Have a hobby… pick up an instrument, paint a picture, find something besides calling me 10 times a day
94. If you like us, just tell us, if we wanted to play games we would just go to Chuckie Cheese
95.It is not necessary to bring your own “arts and craft” made coozie out with you in public, keep that too yourself
96. Excessive late night eating is both offensive to me and too your body. (Ranch was meant to be used for a condiment, not a main course)
97. Do not stand sideways with one knee bent- I don’t care if you think you look skinnier, because you definitely look dumber. Front and Center ladies
98. Huge Purses look ridiculous. Also do not bring a purse or silly flowered Vera Bradley “mom bag” to class, use a back pack like normal people.
99. You should NOT own a matching top and bottom valor warm-up suit, nor huge hoop earrings unless you have at least one parent with African American roots.
100. Don’t say how ugly you think you look in every picture you take
101. Do not try to be cool and critique this list or make one of your own.
